I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
