I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
