Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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