friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
