My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Less talking, more tequila
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
