i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish you could order shots online.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
