Already got asked if we're dating
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Still dying that you shit outside
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
