i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
