I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
