im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize