So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
did you just send me my own nude
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
