I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
