I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
