Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Everything about him screamed your future.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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