And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
