my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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