i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
