Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize