Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
