just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize