I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
