dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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