Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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