Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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