I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
