She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
