She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
