I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
