she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize