What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
