What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
