dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize