i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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