No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
