Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
