it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
