when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
