Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
