how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
