I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize