I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
