I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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