they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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