You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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