I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
