who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
