i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
