Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize