My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
