How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
