Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
