Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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