Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
