I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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