I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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