i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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