"it" just moved
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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