I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Couch. On fire.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
