fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Rumble strips road head = magical
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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