But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Randomize
