who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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