Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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