have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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