I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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