Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
are you so shy because you have an std?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
