addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
jump out the window naked night went bad
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
