Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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