We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
