I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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