You surviving the open bar?
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I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
