well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
