i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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