I could make wine with my vomit
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
