I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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