No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
