pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize