I need help removing her.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize