he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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