dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
