AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Someone came in the potted fern
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
