Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
